Jennifer Lynn Smith: Bio
My adoption story
I was privately adopted at birth the late summer of 1981. My adoptive parents drove from Kansas to Pennsylvania before I was 10 days old and the Judge miraculously let them take me home even though the adoption wasn’t finalized until April that next year. When I was four my parents told me I was adopted and that my brother was their natural child. Soon after that my parents became guardians of two more little girls. At the time I didn’t realize that most children weren’t adopted, I just assumed that most boys and girls were like my sisters and I. I couldn't even read—how should I have known?
As a family we would visit my mother's sister's family in Beaver Falls, PA, almost once a year. My uncle must have had a hard time keeping his knowledge of the adoption a secret from our entire family. He was required to keep all information confidential since he was a Pastor and counselor. One summer, he did tell me that he knew my birth mother when she was pregnant with me because she was a student at Geneva College where he worked. He told me that she was beautiful and that she looked like me. I remember standing in front of the bathroom mirror pretending that I was an adult so that I could see what my birth mother looked like.
One evening in May of 1996 my parents received a phone call from my Aunt in Beaver Falls. She told us that my biological mother was searching for me and wanted our permission for her to send me a packet of pictures and letters. I was so excited. A few days later, I came home from school and “the package” was sitting on my front porch. There were pictures of her with her husband, my biological half sister and brother, and of my new extended family. The package also contained letters that she had written me just after I was born! The first time we talked on the phone was amazing! We talked for hours about everything we had in common. She was a Christian and a creative writer, very artistic, rebellious, sensitive, and a deep thinker. I thought, "Wow, I am so related to this woman."
My adoptive mother and biological mother set up a date for us to meet. I couldn't believe it when I found out that my birth mother currently lived in Beaver Falls! She had lived two streets down from my Aunt and Uncle! I remembered playing as a little girl with my swimsuit on under my sundress running up and down all the streets in that little Beaver Falls neighborhood. I know I must have walked passed my birth mother's driveway. I could have played with my biological half-sister and half-brother in the street or at the swimming pool and just thought they were kids of Beaver Falls whom I would never see again. The first time we met face-to-face was at my Aunt and Uncles house in Beaver Falls, October of 1996. Instead of feeling awkward around both mothers, I felt loved. It was like God was showing his intense love for me at that moment.
My first guitar
That next summer in 1997, my entire family drove to Pennsylvania to meet my biological mother and family. That week I showed my birth mom all of the poetry I had been writing and a few songs that I composed in my head. She asked me if I was interested in playing guitar and mentioned that she had played guitar when she was younger. Of course I wanted to play. And so Mike, my new step dad, gave me my first guitar. When I got back to Kansas I practiced constantly, sometimes even reviewing my chord changes until 4 a.m. I also tried to write a new song every day using the Psalms for lyrics. My best friends from Kansas, Charity and Christa, taught me how to sing—the lessons mostly consisted of them yelling, "Belt it out girl!" every time I auditioned a new song I had written.
The road to marriage
Years went by and I met a guy through running Cross Country whom I thought I was supposed to marry. We became best friends but had a very messed up relationship because I did not know how to stand up for myself. I did whatever he wanted me to do because I thought "he's the one; I can't mess up our future together." My new song "Come Away" revisits this time in my life and calls young women to come out of bondage by receiving God’s gift of boldness. We broke up after three years. I made some more bad relationship choices, and then found my hubby.
Alex and I found each other through music. We happened to bump into each other at several concerts. The summer of 2001 we formed a "band" and started playing some of the same gigs that we still play today (like Homers Coffeehouse). We both secretly had crushes on each other and by Valentine’s Day 2002, we confessed. We were married July 21, 2002.
Alex and I lived in married student housing at Calvary Bible College in Kansas City while he started and finished his Bachelor’s degree in Advanced Biblical Studies. I worked full-time as a Para Professional in Shawnee Mission and Lee’s Summit for a combined six years.
Now Alex and I are both students at the University of Central Missouri for music. I am working on my Bachelor’s degree in Music Technology and he is getting his Master’s in Jazz Percussion Performance. We like school.
Finding my biological father
My birth mother Kathy lost total contact with my birth father--except his name. He went by Jimbo the Magical Clown. I guess the court had a hard time finding him to get his signature for the adoption papers because he had already joined Barnum and Baily Circus. Summer of 2007, after spending 10 awesome days with my birth mom, step dad, and half sister and brother, I realized that it was time to start searching for my biological father.
I really didn't think he would still be "clowning around" but it couldn't hurt to start googling. I found a "Jimbo," the perfect age, last name was right (Hunsinger), and he was the magician and balloon teacher at some clown convention. I was sitting at my mother-in-law's computer desk at the time and she was right next to me. On the website, there was a number for the president of the convention--an Arizona number. "Call the convention lady right now," she demanded. The choice was mine. I called. Her husband answered and said that she was out grocery shopping. That was a relief; I wasn't ready to talk to him quite yet. Anyway, she called back a few days later, I told her my life-story, and then she found my biological father and gave him my phone number.
When he called me for the first time I felt so relieved. I had no more questions. He came to visit me a week later, performed a magic show for my entire extended famliy, and we realized everything that we had and currently have in common. He is ambitious, visually creative, loves the spotlight, and works hard developing his talents. We are so much alike! While we were on the phone he emailed me pictures of my other brother and sister! I remember wondering why I didn't inherit my mother’s cute little button nose, but now I see why. I got my father’s clown nose. Ha Ha (I thought that was funny).
After putting the puzzle of my biological history together I realized how God had pulled me out and placed me in a safe home. I am so special because God directed my path in such a fatherly way. My adoptive parents and birth parents trusted in God to take care of me. If fact when I first received a letter from my biological mother, she also sent a letter she had written me a few weeks after I was born that she saved for 15 years. It said, "I am trusting God with your life." My biological father said that not a day passed before he thought about me, and that every girl he met he would wonder, "does she look like me?" or "does she look like she was born in 1981?"
My knight in shining armor
Now I am 26 years old and have been married over five years to Alex Smith, my drummer. We have a great friendship, a fun-loving marriage, and a calling to play music together. Unfortunately, we also have a past of unhealthy choices. Our situation is not uncommon--everyone has a history. We can, however, daily choose to make healthy choices and use our past as an example to warn the young and comfort the hurting.
My biggest regret in life is not standing up for myself. As a dating teen, I knew that I did not want to be sexual with my boyfriend, but saying "no" was so hard because I wanted him to accept me and approve of me. I thought that if I said "no" that he would dump me. I just wanted my knight in shining armor to rescue me from loneliness so that we could live happily ever after. I had no idea that my expectations of a perfect husband were unattainable by any man. Okay, so I agree that dating is fun and falling in love is exhilarating. Realistically however, there is evil in this world working hard to pervert the amazing gifts of marriage and sex that God has given us. I wish I would have understood this evil as a young teen and embraced the power of the Holy Spirit to stand up for myself.
One of the ways that marriage and sex have become perverted today is the manufacture, sale, and use of pornography. Young teens discover pornography and masturbation, become addicted to this perversion, and assume that once they get married that this addiction will go away. After the honeymoon fever wears off, the secret addiction reappears. Due to this reality, marriage after marriage suffers. Those who are addicted become depressed and withdrawn. Those who are married to the addict become more self-conscious about their sexual appearance and bitter toward their spouse. Pornography however is just one type of evil. We turn on the news and hear of rapes, murders, affairs, theft, and all types of abuse. In the Bible, the book of Revelation tells us that one day all evil will be defeated and that Christ Jesus will reign forever. All sin, hurt, and evil will be eradicated once and for all. In Chapters 17-19 of Revelation, John explains in beautiful imagery how Christ will triumph of the embodiment of evil:
(NAS) REVELATION (17:4) “The woman was clothed in purple and scarlet, and adorned with gold and precious stones and pearls, having in her hand a gold cup full of abominations and of the unclean things of her immorality, (17:5) and on her forehead a name was written, a mystery, ‘BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND OF THE ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.’ (17:6) And I saw the woman drunk with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the witnesses of Jesus.”
REVELATION 19:1 After these things I heard something like a loud voice of a great multitude in heaven, saying, "Hallelujah ! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God; (19:2) BECAUSE HIS JUDGMENTS ARE TRUE AND RIGHTEOUS; for He has judged the great harlot who was corrupting the earth with her immorality, and HE HAS AVENGED THE BLOOD OF HIS BOND-SERVANTS ON HER." (19:3) And a second time they said, "Hallelujah! HER SMOKE RISES UP FOREVER AND EVER."
Since Revelation was originally written in Greek, I looked up the Greek for "Mother of Harlots." The Greek for “harlot” is pronounced “Por-nay,” and refers to a woman who sells her body for sexual uses or an idolatress. Our English prefix “porn,” as in “pornography,” is derived from this Greek word.
Isn’t it interesting that when John refers to the ultimate embodiment of evil and rebellion against God, he uses the concept of a harlot? She draws men to her by her beauty and destroys them so that she can get drunk on their blood(creepy). I must take some time to say that this picture in Revelation does not refer to Jesus conquering those people on Earth who sell their body for sexual uses. The “Mother of Harlots” is the embodiment of the “sin” that will be conquered. The Gospels very clearly explain that Jesus loves all people and wants all to come to him. You may have heard this phrase "hate the sin, love the sinner;" yeah, that is what we are talking about here. The Gospel of John chapter 8 tells the story of a woman caught in adultery who was being accused by the law officials of the day. Jesus told the officers that if one of them was without sin, that person could be the first to stone her to death. After the men walked away, Jesus said:
John 8:10 "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" (8:11) "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Sexual sin is terrible and devastating, but in the end it too shall be overcome by Christ. When I feel overwhelmed by the evil in this world I read the book of Revelation to remember that Jesus is a mighty warrior who will defend us triumphantly over all darkness. So I guess I do have a knight in shining armor that will rescue me and we will live happily ever after. Can I get an “Amen”?